The blundering bumble from a poorly written script is part of my ever challenging life of auditioning. What happened to my former life of Shakespearean Old English stage productions and comedic endeavors written by me? I'm not saying I'm a comedic genius, but I'd rather perform a stand-up show that flops, than a sexy maiden speaking poor English for a D-Movie production. Hey, they make money off of DVD sales, I get it, but really? Are you serious?
My cousin rehearsed lines with me one night and she couldn't stop laughing, because the script was so poorly written that it was almost not worth walking in for the call. It was one of these hot babes and violence deals. Ironically, I booked a role like this recently and I turned it down. I turned it down! In the past, young and desperate to act, I may have taken this role, but now...are you kidding me? I understand when the role calls for a certain type of action, and even though I might feel uncomfortable, I am the type of girl who wears a turtleneck instead of a bathing suit to the beach, and I admit, that is also an extreme reaction, so I have to get over this as an actress. Show a little skin? Sigh...fine.
One fruitful day back in Hollywoodland, I dressed in my confident get-up to prance around Bev Hills and as I walked down Rodeo Drive, I noticed a management company with a store front heading "Zeus Management" a pseudonym...highly unusual as these types of agencies don't usually solicit their business to the public, but nevertheless I walked in, uninvited. I was a cute 24 year old redhead, confident that I'd at least get a second glance, so me being uninvited was never an issue. I simply didn't care if they kicked me out.
The Greek man standing next to a wall of headshots, turned around and scowled at my unannounced arrival. He took my headshot and as I was heading out the door, he told me to sit down for a moment. Wow! Really? My uninvited entrance actually worked this time! So there I sat listening to his mumbo jumbo about what it means to be an actress in Hollywood. My excitement stemmed from my immediate response of "he is interested in signing me! Finally, an agent in Hollywood!" and then I slowly realized, as he kept speaking, that his actors were objects to him. He told me that acting requires you to accept roles you won't feel comfortable doing and I must take whatever role was offered, no matter how much nudity was in the film. WHAT????
Just to paint a positive picture here, he was obviously a fraud. My agent here is one of the best in the city and she said "If you feel uncomfortable wearing shorts and a tank top on set, I respect that. Never accept a role you feel comprises who you are as a well-trained actor." THANK GOD there are people like her. Mr. Zeus, above, didn't respect a single soul that graced his glamorous wall of working actors. Whether they knew that or not, I don't know. Some actors come from outer space and some come from a well-trained Shakespearean background with a degree and that single degree gets me further than an alien actress from the moon, I'll tell you that much.
No comments:
Post a Comment