There was a long moment last year where I thought it was a bleak, bleak time out there for me. There was nothing to participate in with regards to a job in the film industry in Vancouverland. Sad. I would often wonder why I left my cushy studio job in LA for this life. Quelle domage, I thought.

I did numerous things in the meantime such as opting for a semi-stable job in real estate. What?? Well...it was a job that allowed me, cash wise, to go for drinks after work to drown my sorrowful depression and lament to my friends about how down-in-the dumps I was about my "situation" and I ain't talking about my abs...although, it would be nice to have a six pack. Too much effort.

I would say that working at a fluorescent light infested office job was better than living under my parents' roof, or better yet, under a bridge in tent city. Although, nowadays, you can buy a pretty nice tent for under $100.

I tried to take each day in stride. To mix things up during my mundane day, I'd go to a different sushi restaurant at lunch hoping for the best all-you-can-eat buffet under $10 and prayed that I wouldn't get the runs later. That was a tough one. I would also window shop my way through Saphora while asking for numerous samples, so I didn't have to buy the real deal. I would change hair styles and hats so they wouldn't recognized me. I would also do this at Holt Renfrew in order to get their free sample of Creme de la Mer diamond skin cream! Oh the shame!! Whatever. You know how expensive that cream is?? Even if I had millions I wouldn't spend that much on face cream. Sometimes I feel like Jennifer Aniston in that movie "Friends with Money" where she steals samples of face cream from the houses she cleans. Dear God. It was so close to the truth, I'm now ashamed.

It was FFN (fun for now), but I wasn't doing what I LOVED. I'd say about 90% of the people in this world aren't doing what they love, so why should I be one of the privileged ones who DOES do what she loves? Perhaps my destiny is to slug it out like the rest of 'em. Isn't that why they created "The Office" and why it is so wildly successful? People can relate to that office purgatory.

I have to say, though, I paid my bloody dues and now, within the last year, I am finally seeing some genuine success. I shall knock on wood, though, as my superstition gets the better of me. It can all turn on a dime, as we all know . Go ahead and blame this glass half empty attitude of mine on last year's fork in the road. We all need someone or something to blame, right?