The forebrain does not fully develop until the age of 25, so naturally, at the age of 24, moving to Los Angeles knowing absolutely no one, seemed logical. At 25, when one develops that elicit forebrain, you begin to think of consequences, danger and possibly even...death. At 24, you’re invinsible.
So there I was, without a brain, leaving for the Hollywood Hills where my mother took her first breath at The Hollywood Presbyterian Hospital fifty some-odd years prior to my arrival. Packing my bags to escape to my mother’s “home” town, practically overnight, seemed adventurous, glamorous and somewhat naive. I knew only one person in Hollywood...one person in the 10 million plus city was at least…someone.
One would think that an actress probably comes from a broken home of vodka-holics, foster-child abandonment, middle-America poverty, trailer trash Aunts and Uncles, and abusive dead-beat, just out of jail boyfriends. You know, the stuff that memoirs are made of. Me? Well…my entire family is well-educated, employed, and they have all of their teeth.
I was always the chatty kid, the one who loved to perform, laugh, make up stories, and write radio shows. I even pretended I was some big time studio exec, which is ironic because of where my career headed later…similar to that office game I used to play, minus the "big time" part, but I’m only 27, so only time will tell. I was the perfect prodigy for a stage mom to exploit, however, my parents were too busy in school to even entertain the thought of making me into the next Jodie Foster or Shirley Temple, so I entertained myself. No one pushed me to become an actress/comedian, except my highschool acting teacher who was also the same woman who taught the Matrix star. My acting teacher, who abandoned her own daughter to become an actress (dysfunction at its best), sat me down one day and said “Stephanie, you are a talented comedic actress, and I encourage you to get your Bachelor of Fine Arts degree and pursue this as a career.” Oh, really? I thought actors just wake up one morning, glance at their reflection (several times) in the mirror, and narcissistically believe their looks will grant them an Oscar as a result of their fab genes. Actors can be *gasp* educated?
So there I was, without a brain, leaving for the Hollywood Hills where my mother took her first breath at The Hollywood Presbyterian Hospital fifty some-odd years prior to my arrival. Packing my bags to escape to my mother’s “home” town, practically overnight, seemed adventurous, glamorous and somewhat naive. I knew only one person in Hollywood...one person in the 10 million plus city was at least…someone.
One would think that an actress probably comes from a broken home of vodka-holics, foster-child abandonment, middle-America poverty, trailer trash Aunts and Uncles, and abusive dead-beat, just out of jail boyfriends. You know, the stuff that memoirs are made of. Me? Well…my entire family is well-educated, employed, and they have all of their teeth.
I was always the chatty kid, the one who loved to perform, laugh, make up stories, and write radio shows. I even pretended I was some big time studio exec, which is ironic because of where my career headed later…similar to that office game I used to play, minus the "big time" part, but I’m only 27, so only time will tell. I was the perfect prodigy for a stage mom to exploit, however, my parents were too busy in school to even entertain the thought of making me into the next Jodie Foster or Shirley Temple, so I entertained myself. No one pushed me to become an actress/comedian, except my highschool acting teacher who was also the same woman who taught the Matrix star. My acting teacher, who abandoned her own daughter to become an actress (dysfunction at its best), sat me down one day and said “Stephanie, you are a talented comedic actress, and I encourage you to get your Bachelor of Fine Arts degree and pursue this as a career.” Oh, really? I thought actors just wake up one morning, glance at their reflection (several times) in the mirror, and narcissistically believe their looks will grant them an Oscar as a result of their fab genes. Actors can be *gasp* educated?
I was aiming for my biology degree until I decided on a whim to audition for the acting program at The University of British Columbia, eh? Only twelve were accepted each year, so it was more of a competition with myself to see if I could get in, rather than an “I really want to do this” career. I thought, if I make it, I’ll become an actress and earn my Bachelor of F^&@# all, as one ignorant ex called my degree. If I don’t, a doctor. Fate led me to the land of Mephistopheles…Hollywood.
Looking back, I certainly could have taken the “easier” path of becoming Dr. So-in-So. Who places “easy” and “doctor” in the same sentence? An actress with hindsight.
That fated day of January 10th, 2005 where I left a man-boy I had been dating for all of two seconds, who’s name I can’t remember, but it was something generic like Dave or Matt or Pablo or something, was the turning point when my forebrain sprouted early. There was a moment of discomfort when my brand new 2004 tin-can of a Nissan Sentra was stuck in four hours of traffic on the grapevine. As I was stuck on the ten lane freeway, packed with other youngins with stars in their eyes, I glanced at that infamous Hollywood sign thinking “this is a BAD sign.” Somehow, I knew this was going to be a lot tougher than I thought, and maybe it was time to pray to my angels in Los Angeles for some much needed guidance. Are there even angels in LA?
That fated day of January 10th, 2005 where I left a man-boy I had been dating for all of two seconds, who’s name I can’t remember, but it was something generic like Dave or Matt or Pablo or something, was the turning point when my forebrain sprouted early. There was a moment of discomfort when my brand new 2004 tin-can of a Nissan Sentra was stuck in four hours of traffic on the grapevine. As I was stuck on the ten lane freeway, packed with other youngins with stars in their eyes, I glanced at that infamous Hollywood sign thinking “this is a BAD sign.” Somehow, I knew this was going to be a lot tougher than I thought, and maybe it was time to pray to my angels in Los Angeles for some much needed guidance. Are there even angels in LA?
It wasn't all bad at first, it was all bad later.
The Bad: All within a month, I got into a car accident, had my wallet stollen, was dumped by my British boyfriend, dropped my cell phone in the toilet…twice, and started serving tables. Doesn’t that sound like fun? Sign me up!
The Good: My dream had always been to perform on the Comedy Store stage ,and I accomplished my goal within the first two weeks of living in Hollywood for a TV show "Polly" Shore was producing and no, "Polly" Shore is not dead. I know what you are thinking...isn't it Pauly? Yes, but he is kind of feminine, so I changed his name. Comedy Store stage? Check. Mission accomplished, time to move home.
The Good: My dream had always been to perform on the Comedy Store stage ,and I accomplished my goal within the first two weeks of living in Hollywood for a TV show "Polly" Shore was producing and no, "Polly" Shore is not dead. I know what you are thinking...isn't it Pauly? Yes, but he is kind of feminine, so I changed his name. Comedy Store stage? Check. Mission accomplished, time to move home.
But I didn’t head home, I headed for The Hills, and that is where the story begins…
4 comments:
I still have a goal of getting you to love LA! There's just so much opportunity here, how could you not?!
As actors we have a bit of craziness and excessive gutsiness in us. Gotta rely on more than luck...but that helps too.
Keep on keeping on and it'll all work out for the best and not always on our time but in the end in the best time!
Nice to see anothers 'Welcome to LA' story.
xox ~C
Steph, I love your witty stories! Can't wait to hear more!
As a die hard devotee of "Encino Man," "Bio Dome," "In the Army Now," "Jury Duty," and more, I must point out that the proper spelling of the name of the son of Mitzi is actually "Pauly" Shore.
Yes, thank you. Polly is a girl's name which I find more suitable for the boy's name. Nice guy, though. He gave me a great break :)
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